In episode two, I reflect on a statement from episode one: “The thing what I’ve come to see mental health, addiction, all that kind of stuff, emotional wellbeing, all of those things are connected and it’s just one thing habits. Really bad habits that I’ve learned and need to break and let go and have to realize that I need help and support with it. One thing I’ve learned is what kind of support do I get. Is it a support that’s going to tell me that I can’t do it or that I can’t make it?”
I reflect on this because I want to share that I am not negating anyone’s experience of how they come to view their life experiences using the language of disease or mental illness. I am simply consciously learning and unlearning what I was taught about the meaning of the pain and suffering that I experienced. Being alive means stress will happen, and I have to figure out how to move through it without causing emotional distress, pain, and suffering to myself or others.
I title this episode "Un-hexing Myself" with a message that support is necessary, but you have to do the work. I shared just one of many missed opportunities while I was holding on to an illness perspective of my lived experiences and felt helpless in getting the work done. That waiting for Superman, expecting someone to save me or do the work for me, and not being able to believe in myself although the experience was contradicting what I knew within.
It turned out to be soul work, and no one could do it for me. We all have our own soul’s work to do, and how we treat each other matters. My assignment is for me to get the work done. I like to say soul work, which for me means getting to know myself, drawing closer to God, being of service, and living this human experience fully. This means connection and not seeing myself separate from others while having the awareness that we are all spinning really fast on a blue marble planet in the vast darkness of space that an astronaut traveling away from the Earth can blot out with his thumb.
I shared a paper that Deron Drumm (July 21, 1971 – April 4, 2019) wrote, published on Mad in America on July 9, 2014, called "Avoid the Hexperts. Here is a quote from the paper: “By giving negative predictions, doctors create a nocebo effect that activates the stress response. The nocebo is the opposite of the placebo. The placebo shows the power of positive belief – it activates the relaxation response. The nocebo effect shows the power of negative belief – it activates the stress response. The nocebo effect has caused people receiving sugar pills in cancer studies to lose hair and experience nausea. Dr. Lissa Rankin said, “Scientists believe the nocebo effect is caused primarily by activation of the same stress response the placebo effect relieves. When a patient is cursed, either by a witch doctor, a family member, or a modern physician, the stress of the bad news stimulates the stress response.” Click here to read the full blog.
Something to know about me: I created a compassionate activism training, compiling information from many resources. This is information I didn’t know at twenty-three years old when I was in deep suffering and asked for help. However, when I learn now, it has to validate my experience. Think of how much information is being thrown at us every day. How do you know the truth? I’ve come to learn to get to know myself and trust my gut, and when I hear the truth, I know it. Where Deron wrote, “When a patient is cursed, either by a witch doctor, a family member, or a modern physician, the stress of the bad news stimulates the stress response.”
I understood this because I grew up in Jamaica, learning about obeah, another word for voodoo, curses, or hexes. I remember when I was a teenager, a woman over four hundred to five hundred pounds told me that she was overweight because someone obeah her. This understanding implied that she had no control over what she ate, was helpless, powerless, and no fault of hers—someone else was in control of what she ate.
I understood this by accepting a diagnosis at twenty-three. It gave me relief from having to think about what happened to me. Just take the pill, eat, sleep, and watch myself get more obese, put my hopes and dreams onto my children, and become more miserable and lost. Dr. Paula J. Caplan, Ph.D., whom I was fortunate to meet and get to know, says that Psychiatric Diagnosis: The First Cause of Everything Bad in the Mental Health System. I also share in episode two a video clip from her 2018 NARPA (National Association for Rights Protection and Advocacy) talk, "Modern Myths of Mental Illness." Click on the link for the opportunity to participate in the upcoming NARPA 2024 Annual Rights Conference in Portland, Oregon, happening on September 4-7.
Before Paula passed away, she formed a nonprofit organization called Picture Social Justice (PSJ). The mission of PSJ is to promote social justice and equity through film and television. Paula's vision was simple: raise awareness, educate, and advocate for those adversely affected by social injustice.
Paula was dedicated to supporting veterans and created several projects, including "Listen to a Veteran Project," "Is Anybody Listening?," and the book "When Johnny and Jane Come Marching Home: How All of Us Can Help Veterans."
As I shared, I’m not negating anyone’s human experience of how they define themselves. I am simply consciously learning and un-hexing myself. I was taught, both unconsciously and consciously, that I didn’t matter. I have to do the soul work to get to know myself. Jesus on the cross and forgiveness have been a great start.
Learning in my childhood that the meek would inherit the earth stayed with me and led me to accept extreme poverty instead of working to live as my focus of striving for a better life. Accepting that I don’t know or understand everything and always being a student has been a form of surrender, allowing me to take the time to learn. I look forward to learning more about finances at the webinar "Cycles to Circles: Financial Empowerment with Tish Boyd" at the Upward Spiral Summer Series on Wednesday, July 31, 2024, from 1 pm to 3 pm.
Knowing that many others are also fighting and working hard helps me realize that I am not alone. You can check out "A Disorder for Everyone! – The Online Festival" on November 8, 2024.
Our stories matter. Deron wrote, “We need to look for healing within the context of our lives and not in medical textbooks. We need to value individual narratives: healing lies in our stories. For our individual and collective well-being, we need to stop identifying with labels that block healing energy. And we need to avoid the hexperts.”
Episode 2: Un-hexing Myself